Chapter 3 Managing Two Worlds Without Losing Your Family

The Family As the Third Job The mistake many bivocational pastors make is treating family as the third obligation — after work and ministry, whatever is left goes to the family. This is backwards. Your family is not the third priority. For most pastors with spouses and children, it is the second — after your relationship with God and before both the job and the ministry. This is not a statement against pastoral commitment. It is a recognition that the family is the primary community God has given you to steward, and that a ministry built on a fractured family is not the ministry God is actually asking for. Practically: the family gets scheduled time just like work and ministry get scheduled time. Date nights on the calendar. Family dinners that are protected. Children's activities that you actually attend. These are not optional when everything else is present — they are the core of the life the ministry is supposed to serve. "He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?" — 1 Timothy 3:4-5 Schedule your family before you schedule your ministry. They should not receive whatever is left after everything else. They should receive a protected, specific, consistent investment.