Chapter 4 The Examen and Self-Awareness

Knowing What's Actually Happening Inside You One of the gifts of the contemplative tradition to modern pastors is the practice of the Examen — a daily, reflective review of your interior life. Where did you experience God's presence today? Where did you feel His absence? Where were you most alive? Where were you most closed off? This practice, rooted in Ignatian spirituality, produces something desperately needed in most pastors: self-awareness. Not naval-gazing. Not therapeutic introspection for its own sake. But the kind of honest self-knowledge that allows you to lead from health rather than from hidden wounds. Pastors who lack self-awareness become hazards to their congregations. They project their unresolved issues onto the people they serve. They preach from their wounds without knowing it. They lead reactively rather than reflectively. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts." — Psalm 139:23 A Simple Daily Examen The Examen doesn't need to be complex. At the end of each day, take ten minutes. Begin by placing yourself in God's presence — acknowledging that you are not alone in this review. Then ask two questions: For what am I most grateful today? For what am I least grateful? Then go deeper: Where did I feel most alive to God's presence? Where did I feel most distant from it? Was there a moment today when fear, anger, or pride drove my response? What do I want to bring before God before I sleep? Over time, this practice builds a quality of interior attentiveness that changes everything about how you pastor. You stop being surprised by your own reactions. You start noticing where God is working in the ordinary. You become, slowly, more like the person you are asking others to become. The pastor who doesn't know his own heart will lead with his wounds. The pastor who knows it can lead with wisdom.