Maintaining Friendships in Ministry
Even pastors who manage to build genuine friendships often find them difficult to maintain. Ministry is demanding. The schedule fills up. The emergencies pile up.
The Consistent Investment Problem Even pastors who manage to build genuine friendships often find them difficult to maintain. Ministry is demanding. The schedule fills up. The emergencies pile up. And the friendships — because they are not urgent — get perpetually deprioritized in favor of things that are. This is a choice disguised as a circumstance. You are not too busy for friendship. You are making choices every week about where your time goes, and friendship is consistently losing out to other demands. The resolution requires treating pastoral friendships with the same scheduling seriousness you give to ministry commitments. If it is not on the calendar, it will not happen. If it is on the calendar, you will find a way. "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." — 1 Samuel 18:1 Put your people on your calendar before the calendar fills up. Then protect those times like you would protect a counseling appointment. Because this is counseling — for you.
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James Bell
Lead Teaching Pastor at First Baptist Church in Fenton, Michigan, and founder of the Pastors Connection Network. For over 15 years, James has served in full-time ministry—planting churches, leading revitalization efforts, and consulting with pastors and ministry leaders across the country. Out of his own seasons of burnout and isolation, he founded the Pastors Connection Network, a growing community of leaders committed to gospel-centered relationships and long-term faithfulness in ministry.