Chapter 5 Maintaining Friendships in Ministry

The Consistent Investment Problem Even pastors who manage to build genuine friendships often find them difficult to maintain. Ministry is demanding. The schedule fills up. The emergencies pile up. And the friendships — because they are not urgent — get perpetually deprioritized in favor of things that are. This is a choice disguised as a circumstance. You are not too busy for friendship. You are making choices every week about where your time goes, and friendship is consistently losing out to other demands. The resolution requires treating pastoral friendships with the same scheduling seriousness you give to ministry commitments. If it is not on the calendar, it will not happen. If it is on the calendar, you will find a way. "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." — 1 Samuel 18:1 Put your people on your calendar before the calendar fills up. Then protect those times like you would protect a counseling appointment. Because this is counseling — for you.