Chapter 5 What the Church Owes Your Spouse

The Church's Responsibility The congregation that calls a pastor also receives, implicitly, a pastoral family. That family deserves more than they usually receive from the congregation. At minimum, the church owes the pastor's spouse freedom from unreasonable expectations — the freedom to be a member, not an unpaid staff member; the freedom to serve where their gifts are, not where the congregation wants them; the freedom to have a bad day without it reflecting on the ministry. Beyond the minimum: the healthy congregation takes care of the pastoral family. This might look like regular expressions of genuine appreciation for the family's sacrifice, financial compensation that reflects the full reality of ministry demands, and a culture of care for the household that backs up the verbal appreciation with actual attention. "The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching." — 1 Timothy 5:17 The congregation that expects a fully invested pastoral family while providing them with nothing is consuming human beings. Leadership should name that and address it.