Chapter 5 When Your Kids Push Back Against Church

When the Congregation's God Becomes Their God Some PKs push back against the church because they have conflated the institution with God — and the institution has wounded them. They are not rejecting God. They are rejecting the system that claims to represent Him but failed to protect them. This is different from adolescent rebellion, though it may look similar on the surface. It deserves a different response — not more rules and requirements, but honest conversation. What happened? What did the church do that hurt you? And separating, carefully, the institution's failures from the character of the God behind it. Give your children permission to be honest about the church without losing their relationship with you. The parent who responds to a child's honest critique of the church with shame or defensiveness will push that child further away — both from the institution and from the faith. "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." — Proverbs 22:6 Your child's critique of the church may be the most important pastoral conversation you ever have. Listen to it.